Can you spell TNT?

This story tickled my fancy today: Librarians Outspell Nuns

Good for the librarians, but I'm not surprised. The winning word, trinitrotoluene, is the long form of TNT, and TNT is exactly the kind of thing that public library patrons ask for information about, making trinitrotoluene exactly the kind of word that librarians have to know how to spell.

To extend the explosive theme, spelling is the ammo in a librarian's arsenal; if you can't spell what a patron is looking for, you'll never find it. Library catalogs are strictly alphabetical and don't do that Google "did you mean" thing ... which is why librarians like to surreptiously Google uncertain spellings. But Google's not always around, especially if you're working with a patron at a catalog computer without open web access.

Here are some of the words I've spelled this week, having pulled the strings of letters for these people, places, and things from the depths of my addled brain:

• Schizophrenia
• Chondromalacia pattellae
  
• Azerbaijan
• Ptolemy
• Artemisia Gentileschi
• Jhumpa Lahiri

Impressive? Maybe. Expected of me? Definitely. Most people only come talk to a librarian once they've reached the "I looked and I can't find anything" stage (because they already tried tolemy and pschizophreenia). I read voraciously enough to be a good speller, but no one ever told me that being a librarian means spelling for a living.

So I'm starting to think library schools should have mandatory spelling bees, like we had in sixth grade (I still remember the word I went out on: whimper. And the ironic word my friend Chris lost with in the final round: sabotage). Spelling bees are so hot now (musicals, movies) the adult spelling bee could be a new phenomenon! There could even be a game show: Who Wants to Spell Ameliorate? If there were, a librarian would totally win.

One last bit of irony: guess which word makes the list of the 100 Most Often Misspelled Words: library. Which means the average patron can't spell the name of the building in which the person who does all his spelling for him works.